Heh just another cat jokes collection :
Q : Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
A : He set a new lap record.
Q : Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
A : She had mittens.
Q : What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A : One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
Q : What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A : A peeping tom.
Q : Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A : Too many cheetahs.
Q : What is a cat's favourite song?
A : Three Blind Mice.
Q : What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice?
A : Don't you have a cat?
Q : What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
A : Claw Enforcement.
Q : How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
A : He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
Q : Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
A : For kitty littering.
Q : Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?
A : Because they finally opened their eyes.
Q : Why are cats better than babies?
A : Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
Q : What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
A : Hiss and Tell.
Q : What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A : A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
Q : What does a cat do when it gets mad?
A : It has a hissy fit.
Q : What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A : The purrpatrator.
Q : What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
A : He stole the whole show!
Q : What is a cat's favourite colour?
A : Purrrrrrrple!
Q : Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
A : The retail store.
Q : What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A : A mice cream cone.
Q : What do cats use to make coffee?
A : A purrcolator.
Q : What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A : A duck filled fatty puss.
Q : If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
A : Their paws.
Q : Why is the cat so grouchy?
A : Because he's in a bad mewd.
Q : If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
A : None! They were copy cats.
Q : Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
A : That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.
Q : How does the cat get its own way?
A : With friendly purrsuasion.
Q : What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A : An eskimew.
Q : What has more lives than a cat?
A : A frog because it croaks every night.
Q : What is a cat's favourite subject in school?
A : HISStory.
Q : What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
A : Mice Krispies.
Q : How do cats end a fight?
A : They hiss and make up.
Q : What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?"
A : It's raining cats and dogs.
Q : Why are cats such good singers?
A : Because they're very mewsical.
Q : What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner?
A : Chain litter.
Q : What is the cat's favourite magazine?
A : Good Mousekeeping.
Q : How many cats can you put into an empty box?
A : Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
Q : Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look?
A : Because you stop looking after you find it.
Q : If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window?
A : Because the window is closed.
Q : What is a cat's favourite movie?
A : "The Sound of Mewsic."
Q : What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas?
A : Sandy Claws.
Q : Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't?
A : Your lap.
Q : Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
A : Because it squeaked.
Q : What side of the cat has the most fur?
A : The OUT-side.
Q : What is a cat's favourite car?
A : The Catillac.
Q : What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A : A Lawn Meower.
Q : Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
A : Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
Q : What do you use to comb a cat?
A : A catacomb.
Q : Why did the cat run from the tree?
A : Because it was afraid of the bark!
Q : Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
A : Because he's always spotted.